When it comes to weddings, there are more unspoken rules than in a secret society. Whether it’s “don’t wear white” or “don’t bring a date that is an ex of the bride or groom,” many of these are common sense while a few of them are made by the most veteran Wesson guest. This week we’re looking at that dreaded plus-one, something that has actually become far more complicated than it was fifty years ago when relationships were much more cut-and-dry. But in the age of “it’s complicated” bringing a plus one is far more complicated since it’s hard to tell how strict or lax a couple is about bringing an extra guest. So this week, we walk you through how to handle the always-complex plus-one.
To get the elephant out of the room from the get-go, if your invitation does not include a plus-one, then we’re sorry but that is almost certainly the couple telling you that they are unable, amongst the many friends and families who have been invited, to facilitate an extra guest, especially if they have never met him or her. But that hasn’t stopped some stubborn souls from RSVP’ing with a guest and then actually showing up with him or her. In the annals of wedding ‘don’ts’ it doesn’t get more clear-cut than this.
What about if you’re single but still would like to have the option to bring a date if you so choose. The fact of the matter is most people hate going to weddings alone, but remember, this is NOT your day. This is the day two of your close friends or a family member has been working hard on for a long time, and thus no matter how in love you might be with your new beau, if s/he’s not invited, don’t bring him (or her).
While the above edicts are about as clear-cut as you can get, lets talk about one loop hole that some cunning guests try to capitalize on. If your plus-one, who the couple invited by name, can’t make it, do not assume you can just sub in a new guest. Contact the couple, let them know what’s up, and see what they say. They will likely agree since they’ve reserved the space, but just assuming you can bring any guest you please is a big no-no. If the couple invited your guest by name, it was because they wanted him or her to attend. Bringing someone they didn’t invite could be seen as a bit disrespectful.
And there you have it; one of the many convoluted aspects of putting on a wedding. But hey, if they weren’t so much fun, would we go through the trouble to have them?
